they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
