I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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