I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
