well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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