so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
