Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You may now shotgun with the bride
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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