so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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