I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
