Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
