i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
