Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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