there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
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Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
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I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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