that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
