Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
