How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize