is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
