My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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