i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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