Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
oh god was she eating orange peels again
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize