So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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