If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
