I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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