I just made out with a guy for $7.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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