For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
