i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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