I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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