Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
