i just wanna soil my oats bro
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
