Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize