Midget sex pt 2 tonight
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
