Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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