I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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