i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
