it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
