Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
