if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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