Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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