i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
