he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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