So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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