"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
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