he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
