I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
