A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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