3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
