TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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