My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
