what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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