Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
