Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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