I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
