4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
