can we get nightvision for the apartment?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
