If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize