Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
