Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
