Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
