and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
