At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The dick lei will go down in squad history
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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