I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
