Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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