are you still at the devil's house?
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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